Daniel Leżoń
Transcript of track 1
[Voice 1] I wish you unity and strength.
[Voice 2] I hope you learn to love yourselves.
[Voice 3] I hope you find a moment to pause.
[Voice 4] I wish for all of us not to fear showing our emotions.
[Voice 5] I wish you perseverance in your faith and in your dreams.
[Voice 6] Don’t ever give up.
[Voice 7] I wish you many moments of deep breathing.
[Voice 8] I hope you find some space for yourself in your workaholism.
[Voice 9] I hope you find people who support you.
[Voice 10] I wish you peace.
[Voice 11] I wish you confidence.
[Voice 12] I hope you can forgive yourself for not being perfect.
[Voice 13] I hope you find a friend.
[Voice 14] I wish you clarity of mind.
[Voice 15] I hope you manage to turn your fear into action.
[Voice 16] I hope you find someone with whom you truly feel safe.
[Voice 17] I hope you see the light, even in the heaviest and darkest periods of your life.
[Voice 18] I wish you courage and perseverance. I love you.
[Voice 19] I hope you learn to love yourself enough, and feel confident enough, that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
[Voice 20] I wish you not to be afraid to dream.
[Voice 21] Hi. I hope you’re always able to look in the mirror, not to fear admitting a mistake, not to fear falling apart. I hope you’re always able to piece yourself back together again.
[Voice 22] I wish you greater courage and agency.
[Voice 23] I hope you never have to feel ashamed of yourself.
Transcript of track 2
[Voice 1] I wish you less pain in your body, I hope it gets easier for you to move, and that each morning isn’t so heavy.
[Voice 2] I wish you faith that there are many people around you who truly care about you.
[Voice 3] I wish you the strength to fight for yourself, to find within you the strength to change in whatever way you want.
[Voice 4] I hope you feel good where you are.
[Voice 5] May all your deepest dreams come true.
[Voice 6] May you feel a sense of safety in uncertainty.
[Voice 7] I hope you learn how to show your emotions and never hide them.
[Voice 8] I hope you always feel enough – enough to exist, enough to be loved, and always enough to feel like yourself.
[Voice 9] I wish you enough strength and responsibility to be in a relationship because you want to be in it, not because you feel you ought to.
[Voice 10] I wish you the courage to be yourself.
[Voice 11] I hope you finally get to meet me, and I hope you don’t have so many problems all the time, and things stop falling apart for you.
[Voice 12] I wish you everyday joy and optimism.
[Voice 13] I wish that we truly got to know each other.
[Voice 14] I wish you laughter.
[Voice 15] I wish you happiness in life.
[Voice 16] I hope you have mad fun and life isn’t always so serious – lots of laughter and lightness.
[Voice 17] And I wish you not to fear the fact that you can live truthfully, and not just in appearances that look good in photos.
[Voice 18] I wish you love.
[Voice 19] I wish you all here to feel bloody amazing, to feel your own strength and wholeness.
[Voice 20] I wish you good health.
[Voice 21] What else do I wish you? I hope you respect yourself, your time, and spend it only with people you genuinely want to spend it with, instead of just saying that ‘things will work out in the end’.
[Voice 22] I hope you manage to solve your problems and worries, and that you find your goal or goals, pursue and achieve them.
[Voice 23] I wish for all of this to come true for us.
Transcript of track 3
[Voice 1] I hope you keep discovering the world with the same curiosity. I’m sure the world will give you everything you’re curious about.
[Voice 2] I hope you manage to get out of your head – step forward, act, be active, and reach out towards other people.
[Voice 3] I wish you an opportunity to feel moved.
[Voice 4] I wish you the courage to make decisions, and to enjoy them.
[Voice 5] I hope you learn to cut yourself some slack more often. It’s really cool.
[Voice 6] (sighs) I hope you allow yourself whatever you feel like.
[Voice 7] I wish you peace. Real peace.
[Voice 8] I hope you learn to let go.
[Voice 9] Nurture genuine presence.
[Voice 10] I hope you’re the one you’re looking up to.
[Voice 11] Let go of negative energy, cut yourself some slack, and stay true to yourself.
[Voice 12] I wish you perseverance and strength.
[Voice 13] I hope you remember that the rules around you aren’t final and binding, and you don’t have to play by them – take life as you want it.
[Voice 14] I wish you more courage and empathy – for yourself and for others. Learn to take more from the here and now.
[Voice 15] I wish you love.
[Voice 16] I hope you manage to hold on just a bit longer. Soon you’ll be laughing about this.
[Voice 17] I hope your hair smells of Adam’s shampoo, ‘cos it smells bloody amazing. I really like it (laughs).
Transcript of track 4
[Voice 1] I hope you come out of your room and don’t sit in there for so long. And I hope that if you have a problem, you’re going to share it.
[Voice 2] I hope you find yourself again, your own worth, regardless of the people who were with you for years and didn’t always wish you well.
[Voice 3] I wish you courage, strength to act, belief in your own abilities, and the courage to take a risk.
[Voice 4] I wish you happiness, and for you I wish a bit of ease.
[Voice 5] I wish you’d allow yourself to touch what hurts, and allow yourself to heal – because there’s still so much you can do, so much ahead of you. Thanks.
[Voice 6] I wish you to stop being afraid.
[Voice 7] I hope your eyes always shine with friendship. I hope the heart you’ve got hidden under your ribs is a heart worn on your sleeve, full of kindness. Don’t be afraid that someone will hurt you. It’ll heal. Everything will be all right. Take care.
[Voice 8] I wish you love.
[Voice 9] I hope you suffer as little as possible– whether fom your health or from the greyness that can cling and fill you with hopelessness. And I hope we still get to have a great many adventures together.
[Voice 10] I hope you never feel ashamed, nor have to be ashamed, of your feelings.
[Voice 11] I wish you luck in your losing battle, and I hope you stay soft.
[Voice 12] I wish you the courage to live, because it’s never too late. I hope you celebrate your openness, your love for people, your joy – and never hold it back, no matter what those around you say.
[Voice 13] I wish you to live in harmony with yourself.
[Voice 14] I hope you stop pretending, stop playing roles that aren’t meant for you. Be yourself.
[Voice 15] I hope you stay with us for as long as possible, and take joy from every single day.
[Voice 16] I wish you to not be afraid to live.
[Voice 17] I hope you stop hiding your feelings, find out how to express them, feel loved, understood, and I hope no one ever hurts you.
[Voice 18] I wish you authenticity, spontaneity, the courage to be yourself – and I hope that even if someone hurts you, you’ll never close yourself off from other people. Be yourself.
[Voice 19] I hope you find enough strength to find peace, and simply to be happy.
[Voice 20] May you live a long life.
[Voice 21] I hope you forget the taste of loneliness.
Transcript of track 5
[Voice 1] I hope you have people around you, because I know you love that. And I hope we get to spend more time together, because I know you enjoy that.
[Voice 2] I wish you confidence and the strength to take action.
[Voice 3] I wish for myself and for others to remember that work is only a way to make a living, not the meaning of life. This knowledge matters, and I hope all of us hold on to it.
[Voice 4] I hope you find people with whom you feel needed.
[Voice 5] I hope that, for all of you, things that seem unclear become obvious.
[Voice 6] You’ve already found the strength and courage to begin making changes, and I wish you the perseverance to keep going.
[Voice 7] I hope you see the people you work with, not just your own ideas and concepts.
[Voice 8] I wish you wonderful journeys in which you discover your own needs.
[Voice 9] I wish you the strength to pass your strength on to others.[Voice 10] I hope you learn that you don’t always have to be the strongest person in the world.
[Voice 11] I hope you remember that there’s always a way out of every situation.
[Voice 12] I wish you moments, even in the rush of everyday life, to enjoy the small things – the things life is truly made of, and that make it worth living.
[Voice 13] I hope you like your fantasies. I hope you never have to be ashamed of your fantasies, your sexuality, or the way you want to live it. And I hope you fulfil those fantasies.
[Voice 14] I wish you satisfaction from the things that matter.
[Voice 15] And I wish you, my dear, to be content with your life – generally speaking.
[Voice 16] I wish you the strength to notice all the loved ones around you.
[Voice 17] I hope you learn to find joy in the simplest things. And I wish you comfort and joy in your children, and also in your wife or partner.
[Voice 18] Don’t worry about what’s gone, and don’t worry about the future. Live here and now.
Transcript of track 6
[Voice 1] Focus, calm, and less chaos – so there’s more space for you.
[Voice 2] I hope you feel the power of a man’s heart.
[Voice 3] I hope you never lose your wings again.
[Voice 4] I wish you awareness of what’s happening around you and deep relationships.
[Voice 5] I hope you keep joyfully shaping all the possibilities you need for yourself.
[Voice 6] Get some sleep. Start with that.
[Voice 7] I hope all yours dreams come true.
[Voice 8] I hope you remember that we are brothers – and what that can mean for how we relate to each other.
[Voice 9] I hope you stop associating masculine energy with violence.
[Voice 10] I hope you regain your joy.
[Voice 11] I hope you discover that when you are loved, you can do anything – you don’t have to hide a thing. I hope you open up to the world. Don’t be scared tears or suffering. I hope you smile a lot. Be yourself. I hope your life does not end here and now.
[Voice 12] I wish you to not only sacrifice yourself for others, but also to receive what others can give you.
[Voice 13] I hope you stop being afraid and open up to the world and to people.
[Voice 14] I hope you learn to say ‘I love you’.
[Voice 15] I wish you more ease and freedom.
[Voice 16] It’s never too late.
[Voice 17] I hope you start living for yourself. I wish you balance – to take as much as you give.
[Voice 18] I hope you finally meet me and see how deeply I can love you.
[Voice 19] I hope your son sees you as the best father in the world.
Kamil Kak
Map of symbols on Kamil Kak’s textile – the location of individual elements is available on the illustration below the text
1–3 graffiti from the neighborhood (as an example of the history of unwanted, often visually marginalized marks—throw-ups, tags)
4 2025 (I always embroider the date on my textiles to remember when they were made and what exactly was happening at that time)
5–6 doors leading to one of the primary schools in the neighborhood; the window bars were decorated with paper cut-outs
7 a parrot from the playground in Daniel Gralath Park, part of the installation
8 rainbow sticker (one of the first “pieces of furniture” I installed in the temporary studio in Wadowice; it keeps recurring, I looked at it a lot)
9 “no war but class war” – a throw-up/graffiti in the neighborhood
10–12 graffiti/throw-ups
13 a story from workshops organized at the Aniołkowo Neighborhood Club:
A female swan living on the Motława backwater drove her partner away from the nest (swans bond for life) and raised the offspring alone. The person telling the story adds that despite the formal separation, they often saw the swan with her former mate “at night”.
14 a low-crowned Highlander hat (drawing by one of the people visiting my studio in southern Poland, where “Pole from Gdańsk” was being made). A symbol of turning back to one’s own identity, roots, and the revival of regional culture.
15 an embroidered drawing of an embroidery made during workshops at the Neighborhood Club: a rose
16 a detail from a crocheted tablecloth made by one of the neighborhood residents
17 a reprint of embroidery from another fabric (a reference to previous works; this specific one is in a contemporary art collection, currently on show at NOMUS)
18 Primary School No. 90 in Gdańsk runs classes and an after-school club for children staying in hospital wards. A fox made using the coiling technique (twisting paper strips and joining them into sculptures) by the person running the club. Teachers joke that sometimes it’s hard to pull young patients away from the attractive activities in the club to do, for instance, math classes.
19 a detail of the hospital floor
20 a story from workshops told by participating children: a cat named Svorka got stuck in a tree for four days, then was rescued by one of the Friars Minor, who climbed up to get her. The fire brigade didn’t want to take the cat down (apparently they only do that in movies). Nothing happened to her, but as you can see in the drawing, those were rainy days.
21 chestnuts, a drawing made during the Neighborhood Days
22 Sołdek, detail; a route I often took during my last stay in Gdańsk
23–24 graffiti/throw-ups
25 a date from a wall inscription scratched by Soviet soldiers in 1945 in Aniołki, preserved to this day
26 graffiti/throw-ups
27 a symbol chosen by a workshop participant: the logo of a local confectionery with a cute name
28–29 coiling from the hospital primary school (see point 18)
30 graffiti: three anti-fascist arrows; a symbol of the presence of anti-fascist movements
31 people visiting my studio in Wadowice, but not directly connected to Aniołki, often wanted to take part in the process of building identity (they wanted to add something of their own; the drawings were often very intuitive, tied to recent events in their private lives)
32 I was browsing my old sketchbooks from the period when I lived in Gdańsk: an element from drawings based on Memling’s Last Judgment
33 drawings from the Neighborhood Days: a winter scene from a sleigh ride organized in the neighborhood
34 grandma’s chanterelles: one of the people regularly visiting my studio in Wadowice was my 88-year-old grandmother. She also wanted to participate in the process. At first, shyly and a bit embarrassed, she drew a few chanterelles and rural buildings. After seeing the finished embroidery she was very happy with the result and invited her friends to show them her contribution to the banner.
35 a reference to one of my previous works, see point 17; here: religious sculptures from an Italian catalogue of a company selling church furnishings
36 –
37 stories from workshops: one of the participants recently staged Hamlet, so she embroidered the letter H
38 an architectural detail from the neighborhood: a cast-iron fence
39 a chanterelle, see point 33
40 an object crocheted in the neighborhood club by one of the people leading workshops for residents
41 ladies from the “Bursztynki” Seniors’ Club (operating in the building that houses the neighborhood council and neighborhood club) making plush toys; the profit from their sale supports a local hospice. Each lady makes a specific part of the toy, and later they assemble them together.
42 one of the first archived attempts by my niece to write her own name; found in old sketchbooks from when I lived in Gdańsk (LILY)
43 a story about time spent at UCK, told by someone who spent a few weeks on one of the wards: a nostalgic memory of walking along a path running around a tree; lots of ambulance helicopters were flying; nice moments, time to find calm
44 old sketchbooks from my time living in Gdańsk, a portrait of my flatmate (who also participated in several embroidered symbols)
45–46 fox-skinwalker, a memory recalled by someone who used to live in Aniołki and now lives in Warsaw: a fox walking around the neighborhood with a bottle of Krasnystaw kefir in its mouth. I remember that fox—during the first lockdown in 2020 it moved into an empty building on Chmielna Street, where it stayed with its family.
47 a memory of the TKKF Dębniki Club, an attempt to reproduce its logo from memory
48–49 an architectural detail of one of the tenement houses in the neighborhood (lion’s head, symbol of Gdańsk)
50 architectural details: cast-iron metalwork, window grilles in a characteristic shape
51 architectural details (wood carving)
52 one of the people regularly visiting my studio brought a card she had received from a related boy—it’s an important keepsake for her and she wanted it to be included on the banner: “Antoś for Agata – take care of me”
53 the first sketch showing a very early idea of what the banner would look like
54 an inscription scratched by Soviet soldiers on neighborhood walls before (or in) 1945:
“Up the ass with a dick to whoever wanted to take over Europe.” or “Fuck anyone who wanted to occupy Europe.”
In the current geopolitical situation it takes on a completely new meaning.
55–58 sketches from the beach in Brzeźno
59 a reference to the author’s previous works: glass objects
60 a drawing from one of the Tri-City beaches, made by a person I lived with in Gdańsk (her portrait: see point 44)
61 mysterious inscriptions that appeared near the studio where the embroidery was made in summer 2025
62–63 graffiti from the neighborhood
64 a story from one of the ladies who has lived in the neighborhood for many decades: her husband grew up in Aniołki and as a child played in a car abandoned by the Germans. He always wanted to restore it. At some point the car allocated by the authorities went to one of his neighbors. After years of negotiations he managed to get the car from him (through an agreed barter: exchanging it for a characteristic press and recordings from the entertainment industry) and restored it—now the car runs. For the lady who guided me around Aniołki it was an important symbol of attachment to the neighborhood and she thought it should be included.
65 an architectural detail
66 a scrunchie made during workshops at the Neighborhood House
67 an advertising car in the neighborhood. I wonder which direction Aniołki is developing in? Is it a place not threatened by gentrification after all, or is that process already advancing?
68 archive: an element from sketchbooks made during my years living in Gdańsk
69 a story told by neighborhood seniors recalling the problem of lacking public toilets in neighborhood parks. One of them was reprimanded by city guards for relieving himself in the park. Facing the authorities’ ignoring of his needs, he obtained a certificate from a urologist that he carries with him, solving his problem and gaining the ability to relieve himself freely.
70 a collective work made by teachers and pupils of Primary School No. 90 (hospital school) for building the banner: logo and handprints
71 –
72 during my public-space conversations with people in the neighborhood, one man started talking to me and asked what I was doing. After a moment he voiced a few anti-immigrant slogans. When I asked if he’d like to try drawing what he’d just said (handing him paper and a marker), he gave me a drawing of a heart with the words “LOVE GDAŃSK”
73 deconstructed passport stamps used in my previous projects: a vision of a future where borders are open and the memory of the passport stamp’s shape becomes blurred and distant (a personal response to point 72)
74 a detail from a note left for me during the period of making the work
75 a three-and-a-half-leaf clover found in Aniołki by one of the people co-creating the textile
76 a tank-monument located in the Gdańsk district of Aniołki on Zwycięstwa Avenue. Currently the only tank-monument in the city. The tank is a Soviet medium tank T-34 model 1941/42, with an F-34 gun (caliber 76.2 mm) and a preserved engine
77 on the night of 9–10 September 2025 Russian drones violated Polish airspace; some were destroyed or fell on Polish territory. In total 21 drones were identified; 19 are said to have breached Polish airspace, and some of them (about 16–17) fell to the ground in various locations. A symbol of events taking place during the making of the work, anchoring it in a specific time.
78 bees from the facade of Primary School No. 15
79 coiling from the hospital primary school (see point 18)
80 craft: a crocheted object made by one of the Aniołki residents
81 graffiti on the ground near a tram stop: opinions are divided—MMM or WWW?
82 archival sketchbooks from my time living in Gdańsk: Blueberry Basia (Świeżak), a memory of the craze present in society, which also created a kind of identity around itself (collector’s identity, desire to possess; the drawing shows my Basia)
83 a logo from one of the building facades in the neighborhood
84 archival sketchbooks from my time living in Gdańsk
85 drawings by a person remembering anatomy classes at the Medical University of Gdańsk
86 a token found in the neighborhood
87 an architectural detail
88 a broken swing found in the neighborhood
89 graffiti
90 the Yellow Viaduct, a drawing from the Neighborhood Days
91 a drawing from the Neighborhood Days
92 graffiti
93 a drawing from the Neighborhood Days: in the bottom-right corner a close-up of a wild boar; in the top-right corner an inflatable castle set up during the Neighborhood Days
94 a depiction of one of my last works made during my multi-year stay in Gdańsk
95 a symbol from a banner made during mass protests in August 2020
96 drawings by a person remembering anatomy classes at the Medical University of Gdańsk: an image of the professor in his office
97 a ceiling from a building on the grounds of the former Jewish Gymnasium in Aniołki
Agata Jarosławiec
Audio recording transcript – Teresa Jarosławiec, nurse
Everyone thinks you get into it because of a calling or something. It varies, people choose it for different reasons. I thought it was one of the best professions, one that’d always give you a job, you know? You were guaranteed work after graduation. My father actually suggested I go to nursing school, because being a nurse is a really good and necessary job. He’d been in a sanatorium and he really liked what they did there (laughs). But of course not all of us would end up working in a sanatorium, right? Still, it was very much needed. You helped patients, you know, in all sorts of matters, situations, illnesses.
I worked in the hospital in the operating theatre, I was a scrub nurse, you know. Preparing things, cleaning up, handing instruments during the procedure, all that. Working with patients came afterwards. I spent almost 14 years working in the operating theatre. At that time, you had to go in for caesarean sections, for gynaecological procedures. Surgeons did the gynaecological operations together with the gynaecologists, and on top of that there were orthopaedic procedures as well. Now they’re not allowed to do that, the orthopaedic surgeons have to do it. Back then the surgeons did everything. The scrub nurses had to assist in the gynaecological procedures too, which meant going to the other block, you know. You’d be running up and down the stairs, day or night, to the gynae theatre and then back to the surgical one. And on top of that you had to do dressings and deal with the surgical outpatients as well. They don’t have that now; back then you had to do everything. The methods of treatment were different, and there were different patients too.
Some appreciated our work, and others… well, some of the older ones thought they were entitled to everything. And some patients had a bad opinion of healthcare in general, of nurses’ work. I won’t even go into that (laughs). Some spoke rather badly. And of course nurses were different too. One was, you know, better with patients, and others were a bit snappy and shouted a bit. Well, maybe not shouted, but… A nurse had to do everything the doctor told her to do, you know. Once a gynaecologist actually hid an instrument from me. He wanted to check if I’d counted all of them. He pinned it to the sheet under the operating table. And we searched and searched, it was some sort of night-time procedure, probably a caesarean. And he wanted to know if we’d find it or not.
It was much better at the beginning. Sometimes when they brought in lots of people from accidents – sometimes children – those I felt most sorry for. Things like burns, there were a lot of such injuries. After New Year’s Eve, for example, hands all cut up – there were lots of such cases. Later those patients would come for dressings. Everything was in the outpatient clinic. First it was the surgical outpatients, then it was moved to the main clinic… all the outpatients came to the surgical clinic, you know. And the children – poor things.
With the doctors it depended what sort of doctor it was. One was decent and respected you, another was snappy and would shout at you or whatever. But generally we got along with them somehow. Not all of them respected us, though. Some of the younger doctors – and you had to say ‘sir, doctor’, and he’d call you by your first name, being years younger than me. Not all of them, but… Female nurses have a better approach to patients. Most of them anyway. Many nurses are really in it because of a calling. Men, well, I don’t think they’re made for it (laughs). Women are better because they’re more caring, and men generally aren’t. They’re more for helping physically, like lifting a patient, turning them over, you know. And a nurse has to wash them, change them, you know, if someone’s bedridden. It’s necessary work, and there are fewer and fewer nurses now, and fewer schools that train them. There are no nursing secondary schools anymore. You did what you could, really – you talked to them, comforted them a bit. Sometimes you could give them something, give a child a bandage, or a sterile syringe, you know, in wrapping. We didn’t really think about ourselves, not at all. You thought about the patients, not about yourself.
Sometimes they came in shouting. Sometimes they came in drunk – oh, they’d shout and complain, in the clinic as well, something was always not to their liking, or the queue, or someone went in first and someone later – and there were the outbursts, you know. And sometimes you had to, you know, slip someone in just for a dressing so the doctor wouldn’t notice. And then you’d get it from both sides – from the doctor and from the patient – because the doctor would start shouting, you know. What were we doing, why had we taken someone earlier, that sort of thing. Well, you could take them quickly for a dressing, but it wasn’t up to us, the doctor had to decide, not the nurse. And you couldn’t say a word to the doctor; then after a moment everything calmed down. The doctor let it go once he saw you weren’t answering back (laughs), because, you know, he was in the wrong. And then later he’d need something, and you know, the nurse was needed again for something. For the next task he should’ve been doing, but actually we were the ones doing it. Like putting on plaster casts – that should’ve been done by the doctor, but it was us, the nurses, who did it.
Someone has to go into nursing, because the population is ageing, you know. There are more and more elderly people, and the young ones don’t want to go into these schools because they know what it means. Patients react differently, you know, and… well, some were grateful, they said thank you, sometimes someone brought coffee or chocolates (laughs). Some patients are pleased when pretty, young, slim girls come in. They feel better straight away and recover faster (laughs). And if she smiles, chats a bit, makes a joke – well, that happens too. I really did love my job.
Audio recording transcript – Krystyna Połom, nurse
My name is Krystyna Połom, I’m 94. I spent 11 years working in Kocborowo, in Starogard, and 31 years in Srebrzysko [locations of 3 mental hospitals]. What broke my heart most was when they brought in 10-, 12-, 15-year-olds. I took it very hard, even though they weren’t my own children, but in this job you’re not supposed to cry… Yet cry I did, not just me – the doctors did too. You have to be tough, you have to care for the patients. A patient mustn’t see you sad. Because they… If the carer, the sister, the nurse is sad, crying, with tears running down her face… What’s going on? They immediately start asking.
I ran the children’s ward. It’s terrible. You need to know a bit of psychology to know how to act. You have to remember what you said yesterday so you can repeat it today. And you’ll need to repeat it the next day or the day after, because the patient isn’t stupid. Men don’t like hard work. And this is a very tough job. It was an Englishwoman who brought the nursing profession into the service of humanity – because before that it was simply a service. You worked 24 hours a day, you slept alongside the patients. That’s how it was after the war, in psychiatry.
I’d come to work, and first of all you had to set out the medicines. Measure temperature, blood pressure – that was important. And hand out the food. After breakfast, give the medication. And then procedures – dressings, massages, going to X-ray, doing pneumoperitonea or forensic examinations, because it was also a ward with patients accused of crimes. Or you were waiting for a professor’s visit, for a ward round.
A patient jumped out of the fourth floor and killed himself – that happened to my colleague from on another ward. There were three of us who wanted to leave after that. And we had good jobs, very good jobs. But, you know, the doctors called us in, the director explained, pleaded with us. And so we stayed. I think I went to the director 5 times after that event, to talk, because he didn’t want me to leave. ‘Where will you go? Where will you earn more? Where will you have it better? Who will respect you like we do?’ I was afraid – we worked on the fourth floor, and we didn’t have bars. Hospitals always used to have bars on the windows. And then they made it the English way, with no bars. They’ve put them back since.
They didn’t only listen, they asked questions, talked to us. Invited us into the office, whether they were writing up the patients’ medical history, notes from treatment or something. It wasn’t just me, it was the same for all the nurses. We had respect, every one of us, even towards the ward nurses. We’d even call the ward nurse for coffee if we were having coffee with the doctors. You know, so as not to humiliate them that we sit separately, you sit separately. No, no, no. In the years I worked, it was still like after the war – everyone was respected.
I ran insulin coma therapy. And when my patient came to see me after 16 years, that was my greatest joy – that my work had made a difference for 16 years. Because some patients came back after 6 months. Some, you know, their illness returned, and they came back again. They just weren’t taking their medication.
Do you think we didn’t cry when Krzysiu jumped from a train near Wrocław and killed himself? He was 28, an engineer. Our patient – handsome, beautiful young man. He talked to me, called me. He gave me a book, and said, ‘Sister, I’m riding the tram, and out of nowhere I snap– I shout, I tug at people. Do you think I’m not a human being? I know exactly what’s happening to me’. But he couldn’t control it. Patients would sometimes visit me, bring presents, flowers. Yes, I really liked my job. Oh yes.
They taught us at school that before opening the door you had to tell yourself: ‘Keep your lips sealed and don’t say too much’. It’s psychiatry, you know. Let me tell you a story. Four militia officers brought in a patient. I was the one who opened the door. I had night duty. They took off his handcuffs and pushed him in. And the patient turns to me and says, ‘Sister, we’ll manage. Let those coppers go’. That was the biggest incident in my career, because there were beatings and all sorts of things, you know. Their passions – tying them down, restraining them. You know what psychiatry was like. Some patients were restrained for weeks in straitjackets. When I worked in Kocborowo, there was a 15-year-old girl, she screamed that I had no education, no sense, didn’t know what it meant to be young. And she bit me. I had the mark for about 20 years. You know, here, she bit me here on the breast. But apart from that, no – that was the only time in 40 years. The doctor phoned to say she was very wild, very loud, very excited, that it would be difficult. But there were two of us nurses, and four militia officers. And somehow we managed. She later became close to me, you know? A sort of friendship. That Małgosia used to come to see me. She had a car, she’d drive over.
To be honest, there was a kind of pressure. My dad wanted me to study law. I couldn’t, there were too many of us to afford school. You had to go where they gave you a dormitory, food, and a job. I was honest, I was very honest, I worked very honestly. I say that about myself. I really was honest. I always knew that mental illness could affect anyone. Because it’s not a disease of the heart, liver, lungs or anything like that. It’s an illness of the mind. And they don’t have proper medicine for it. Even today they don’t know what causes schizophrenia. They just don’t know. It was my choice. I realised that if they recruit you, they encourage you, explain, talk…
I was tall and sturdy. I was about 168cm tall and weighed 73 kilos. I remember my job interview. All the psychiatric nurses – all of them were… well, I don’t know now, after so many years – but back then they were all tall. As one patient said, ‘A woman isn’t supposed to be “handsome”, but you’re all handsome’. Tall, well-built. Whether Stasia, or me, or… all of us. Litkowie-Cimanowski, there were three poor things. They had conferences, training, meetings. They’d meet and discuss. There were many patients with criminal charges. And what can I tell you – mentally ill people. I still have it to this day, you know. Mrs. Połom will tell you. ‘The doctor won’t run the ward for three days, but I can run it for two weeks’. That’s what I used to say, and that’s how it was. They still repeat it today. ‘Mrs. Połom said the doctor can’t manage three days, but she can do two weeks without a doctor’. Nurses leave behind all kinds of stories and memories. But no – above all, I had respect. They respected me, that’s what I’ll tell you. Whether it was Bystrzanowski, or anyone – Bukowski or not Bukowski. The doctors. Not to mention the women. Targońska, to this very day – when I’m at the Zegarskis now, she was still asking how I was, how things where, whether I needed anything. I said no, I have family, I don’t need anything.
I think so, yes. You explain to the family: another week, another two weeks, things are looking good, the treatment is going well. You know… I’m not very good with talking like that. We gave them medications, explained how to administer them, how to care for their relatives at home for as long as possible. And never say ‘you nutter’ or ‘you idiot’ – above all, you must adjust to the patient psychologically. The family must be very, very careful with that at home.
Alicja Biała
How to sow a linden tree in November (naturally) – instructions
1. Preparing the seeds
Place the linden seeds in water for 24 hours.
- keep the ones that sink to the bottom
- discard the ones that float
2. Where to sow
You can sow:
- directly in the garden
- in a pot or box, which you’ll leave outdoors
3. Soil
Use a light, well-draining mix: garden soil + sand (in roughly a 3:1 ratio).
4. Sowing
- Sow the seeds with some space between them.
- Cover with about 1 cm of soil.
- Water gently so that the soil is moist but not muddy.
5. Winter
Do not bring the sown seeds indoors.
The pot or garden bed should remain outside all winter – frost, rain and snow will naturally prepare the seeds for sprouting.
6. Spring
The seeds will begin to sprout between March and May.
Be patient – linden trees sprout slowly.
7. Seedlings
When the seedlings have two or three pairs of leaves, place them in separate pots or a seedling nursery.
